If I remember correctly, I left off last night feeling very excited about the upcoming weekend. It's amazing how much your emotions can change overnight, literally. I woke up feeling so nervous and almost panicked. Looking back I can't quite figure out why....
The day started with me waking up before my alarm. I'm usually okay with it if it's right before the alarm is set to go off, but this morning I think I was rolling around a good half hour before the alarm went off. Boo. Double boo because Emma can sense when I'm awake, which means she thinks it is time to eat. Well this morning I rolled out of bed, started some laundry, and fed Emma. Breakfast burritos hit the spot last night but unfortunately we used all the eggs. This wouldn't normally be a problem but it is when you need a single egg to make cookies for your running team. This meant an early morning run to the store to grab some eggs. Since I was out, I decided to treat myself to a carbo-loaded treat from Panera. I chose the Ribbon bagel and my favorite hazelnut coffee. So yummy and it supports the cause I'm running for- cancer. While I munched on my breakfast, I continued the laundry and baked the pumpkin cookies. I was okay at this point. I was just happy I was able to get all this done and get to work by 8:30. The problem was, I could feel my energy and anxiety building as I rode the train to work. I couldn't tell if it was all the coffee I had to drink or if it was related to the race.
Walking in to work everyone started to ask me about the weekend and all I could say was "I'm so nervous" or "I feel like I could throw up". Oh my gosh. Really. How could I be so dramatic? It's still 2 days away and it's just a marathon. There are way more intense things in life. But for me, in this moment, this is intense and it is unknown. After much reflection, I decided that's what it is. I felt this nervousness each time we bumped up the mileage. And each time I pulled through. It's the unknown that bothers me. I think it is that way for most human beings. We love familiar territory. (un)Fortunately, this weekend is for sure unknown territory. But you know what? Everything will be just fine. I can only say that now after spending 5 hours volunteering at the expo with Kim and after sharing some pasta and good conversation with my 10:30 team. They remind why I enjoy running those long distances so much :)
The nerves were out of control- I could barely focus at work- until I finally made it to the expo and checked in. Most everyone there was so excited, happy and friendly. Notice I did say most everyone. The excitement and friendly faces finally put me at ease. Getting my bib number (10067 in case anyone is interested in following along), tee and swag also put me at ease. That's right. They had a tee and swag station. It is the Rock and Roll Marathon so the lingo and atmosphere were appropriately matched. They played some really great music. Our work station would play name that artist, and if we were lucky, we could catch people breaking it down (me included).
After our shift we hurried to meet up with our running team. While I was en route to the party, my grandparents called to wish me well for the race on Sunday and let me know they'll be thinking about me. I told them I'll be thinking of them. Afterall, they are my inspiration for taking on this challenge. By the time I made it to the party I missed the official chow time but didn't miss the good conversation. Paul had put together a video montage of our year. Sooooo funny. There were several stories and memories for each picture. It really has been a fantastic 18 weeks. I got some great last minute tips from my teammates and I'm benefiting from the hot pad Amy gave me. She has been having back issues this week too and these heating pads are really helping her. I slapped one on before beginning to blog and I plan on wearing as I get my good night's rest. I hope it works for me as good as it's worked for her.
I'm so happy the nerves are gone. I honestly think the worst of it is over. I tend to psych myself out way in advance of things and by the time the event gets here, I'm calm as a cucumber. I don't know why this weekend would be any different. So here's to hoping the rest of the wait cruises by. Now that the nerves are gone, the fatigue has set in.
Stay tuned for tomorrow's post. It's sure to be inspirational, or at least I hope so :)
Nighty night.
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